Shutter Sisters

belated valentine

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The husband, too often, is trumped by sons and daughters. Conversation is reduced to tokens of business such as

Hello. We got another power bill and did you remember to pick up more milk and I forgot to take out the recycling again and that cheese isn’t supposed to be blue and watch out, that’s a poopy sock. Goodnight.

Bleary-eyed we stagger through parenthood, aware of each other only peripherally. In front of the camera he exists as child-carrier, slide-catcher and armpit-tickler, captured in bits and pieces alongside headlining cereal-splattered cheeks and tricycle prowess.

I’m still in a state of shock that, with a baby and a toddler in the house, a marriage with this man takes effort—effort in the way of just remembering to just be with each other and laugh, and talk, and look at each other straight in the eyes, the way we used to.

This photo is who Justin was, before. May I be so bold? RAWR.

And after? There is none yet. Not of this classic magnitude. But there will be. Post-Valentine, I’m determined: a portrait of him as himself, rather than as child-prop.

Want to join me?

Peel your camera away from the kids. Introduce us to yours, and tell us about him (or her)—the before, or the after—just your partner, no one else. Share a picture of what made (and makes) you love: a stance, a grin. Or the way he wraps his hand around the paddle of a canoe, an extension of his arm, as natural as if he were born to this place.

Comments

  1. Alas, as a single lady, i can’t participate in todays photo task…but i must say that reading blogs and seeing flickr pictures of folks with their loves keeps me inspired and having faith and hope that my future will be full of love.

  4. This is my love before, so serious, so arty, so very very young
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/sufferingsummer/888943096/in/set-72157603783989784/
    And here he is indulging my desire for some portraits of him which have been scarce since becoming parents.
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/sufferingsummer/887697215/in/set-72157603783989784/
    Had I not done this set of portraits which I only convinced him to do by telling him I really needed to test out my camera before taking some engagement photos of my sister…I would only have baby carrier photos as well…funny how the object of my obsession and affection turned into the prop. I’m so glad the love is still so strong and the work is so very worth it.

  6. there are a million reasons to love this photo. the vibrancy of it all.
    and a million and one reasons to love you and him together.
    thank you for sharing.

  9. Vivienne, I hope so too. I remember how that felt, the waiting. Can you interpret how this made you feel in a photograph?

    Everyone, I’m totally bowled over by your shots so far, and your partners. You captured so much personality, I feel like I’ve met them all.

  12. gosh, what a great post kate. well said, all of it. it IS the sideways glance. i’m not sure if i can capture something through my lens or not, but these photos everyone has shared are wonderful, truly. and you can see it all in their eyes shining back at the women holding the cameras. it brings tears to my eyes.

  15. I love your post Kate. It made me realize also that Jason is mostly a "prop" in our lives and photographs. I did take these a while back, when I was fiddling with camera flare on the camera. Even then, he was a prop! Yikes. We all need to take more minutes out to pay attention the people we need and love the most, don’t we.
    here is the link. The last one is just a joke when i told him to ‘be menacing"…he looks mean, but to me it’s a photo about how funny he is. And also willing to do just about anything to please me. Let’s be on a mission to take more photos of our boys!!
    thanks Kate.

  19. Not the greatest picture of him, but a very proud moment for him. He built that bike all by himself ( minus the paint job someone else did that) This was it’s first trip out of the garage to see if it would start. When it did the look on his face was of pure joy. I only wish I had a full view shot of his face, but my tears of joy prevented me from taking anymore.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/mondaysmemories/2273842553/

  24. Thanks for the idea for an interpretation of this task kate. I will definitely do this…in fact i think it will be pretty empowering and important to do. I do savour this stage (solo w/ no kids) and how much freedom i have, but look forward to where ya’ll are in your lives, with your family.

    I’m amazed at all the beauty you ladies have found in your loves. Beautiful pictures.

  26. my husband as a child prop? i am guilty as charged.

    kate, this photo is amazing and your challenge is indeed challenging. i love it! great post.

    and, RAWR indeed!

  29. This is an excellent idea. I was just thinking the same exact thing. I have a lot of pictures of him "before", but since our son he’s usually more of a prop than anything else. I’ll get to work and see what I can do.
    And your hubby is adorable!

  32. I’ve found my hubbie, too, has been left out of the photographic mix. For one, he hates having his picture taken. But also, those kids steal the limelight. I recently started adding myself back in with self-portraits. And, suddenly, he is more willing to let me photograph him.

    This first photo I love even though he is hard to see because it depicts his sense of humor – his fun loving self.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/peculiarmomma/2223761713/

    And the second, well, he is a brewer. This is his life away from our family. Can’t beat a good brew.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/peculiarmomma/2255773501/

    Hello hubbies! RAWR indeed!

  40. It is true that it is infinitely difficult to remember life before dogs, mortgages, pregnancies, babies and all the bills! the work! the landscaping that needs to be done! the new carpet that we desperately need! the insurance, laundry, and the (blush) minivan I *swore* up and down and over again that I would never ever purchase…

    but it is lovely to sit here and remember that every last silly, trying, and wonderful little thing that we have now all started with a look. And a kiss. And lots and lots of love letters placed covertly into a campus mailbox or tucked away under his rusty pick-up truck windshield wipers.

    My beau, looking typically intense last summer. I love this look:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/cherryfizzy/2275439684/

  43. RAWR is the sound of a cougar about to pounce. Or a tiger. Or a man-eating jaguar. Your choice.

    Ahem. Kidding. Kind of.

  51. Wow. It’s amazing to see so many different people through the eyes (or lenses, as the case may be) of those who adores them. Such beautiful submissions so far!

    For my part, here’s a shot of my wonderful husband taken during a vacation in Germany last year. The best part of this photo is that I was (unfortunately but admittedly) behaving like a brat the entire afternoon and he still looked at me like this. Just love.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/hstender/2057260883/