Shutter Sisters

Thankful.

By

It was about 17 years ago, I don’t remember exactly.  My brother and dad together one afternoon and me, using my brother’s old high school camera, a Pentax K1000 (which I still have).  My dad and I had not spoken in many years and had only recently begun speaking again after my brother was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.  It was an akward moment for me but I had my camera and that was my safety net.  Always has been, probably always will be.  I developed the film in a B&W photo class I was taking at a junior college the next day and I remember being so displeased with the quality of the photo.  I didn’t like the lighting, the contrast wasn’t perfect, etc.  I tossed it aside and forgot all about it.  That is until last week, when in the middle of going through some old things, I came across it again.  My heart did a little flutter as I looked closely at the photo. I notice my dad’s long, weathered hands and the way he’s looking directly at me, his expression a little unsure maybe?  And then I smile as I notice my brother trying to be Mr. GQ.  Not only does the photo not seem so bad to me now, I’m so very thankful that I kept it because 3 years after this photo was taken, I lost my brother to cancer. A short 3 years after my brother passed, I lost my dad.

Now, when I have those moments (and I do) and I wonder if photography is really what I’m meant to do or I start questioning my own self-confidence with it all (which I also do), I look at this photo and I know…a camera most definitely belongs in my hands. 

How about you? What was your ‘aha’ moment or photo? Please, do share.

Comments

  1. This is so beautiful – that you have this photo..and all that it evokes for you. Photography IS amazing..isn't it? We don't always recognize it at the time..but always – years later.

    And – my aha moments (lately) have come more from the words evoked by the images themselves..that remind me of stories of those that I love:
    http://www.marciescudderphotography.com/home/2011/6/26/off-center.html
    http://www.marciescudderphotography.com/home/2011/6/27/her-voice.html

  6. I don't have a photo to share at the moment but I wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my brother in 1988 when he was 16. And, I'm struggling with my relationship with my father. You photograph reminds me of the look I often STILL get from my dad and I want to add that your brother was a cutie…looked a little like Johnny Depp 🙂 I will search for an aha moment, but in case I don't find one, my thoughts are with you. Thanks for sharing.

  7. Thanks for sharing this very special photo and the story of your loss.

    My 'aha' moment came recently as I was scanning some old slides. I realized that back when I was in high school and even before that, I was taking photos of every day life and doing a fairly decent job at it even then. I saw through the old images that, as you put it, a camera belongs in my hands. My interest in photography has been reawakened by the courses I have taken through Big Picture Classes, and I'm grateful for that experience.

  10. this is a treasure Chris. thank you for reminding us how very important our job really is! xo tracey

  11. Like you, the camera is never far from my hands. Several "aha" moments have come in & out of my life, but this pic was one of the greatest.
    We had lost my mom to a serious illness just 2 years prior – plenty of time to take those treasured photos. But then, while on vacation, my sister calls & tells me our dad died suddenly through the night. We suspect it was his broken heart.
    I flew home that evening & while gathering photos for his memorial, I cam across this shot that I had taken just 2 weeks prior at Easter Sunday dinner w/ my nieces. I had forgotten I had taken in until I started looking through the photo files on my computer….

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/22639132@N04/2363117727/in/set-72157624697835204

    Photos are a precious reminder of life ……. now, then and soon too be

  12. Oh so thankful I read this today. And I'm sure you are thankful that this moment was captured. You've made me wistfully grateful today.

  20. wow… this is really moving. i only wish i had realized how much i love photography and want to capture people with it before my dad died five years ago. i have next to no photos of my dad. i have one, but it was with a not so good camera, and i was not trying to be artistic when i took it. i just sort of snapped it of him and his best friend at his anniversary party just a short year before he died.

    but, i know i can't dwell on the fact that i never really captured my dad in photos the way i like to now. i still have great mental pictures and memories of him. but it has motivated me to capture people who are here with me now… or even myself. i would say my "aha" moment with photography was when i took photos of my best friend at her wedding.

    here is one from the flickr set of her wedding.
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/28567264@N05/4869930955/in/set-72157624594877733/lightbox/

  21. Before I read the description I could see so much feeling in your dad and brother's faces although I wasn't sure why … then I read the story behind it and it made so much sense.

    A wonderful photo, thanks so much for sharing that.