Shutter Sisters

The Happiness of Now

By

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Hope is the mask of fear; trust is the face of courage, her friend had said.  Now she could see it was true. 

She decided to stop hoping for things to go well in the future and to begin trusting instead.  Wasn’t she herself the one who had said, Everything was unfolding exactly as it should?  You can rest now and wait?  Another friend had said it would be hard, but today she decided it would be easy.  Why not?  Who could hold her back from this knowing except for her own self?

She took a deep breath and tried to imagine now.  The now that was happening while she held in the breath and then let it go again.  The now that was holding her and keeping her in perfect love and care.  The now that she had first discovered in Africa, but that was here, too, right here in the kindness of her very own breath.  She would not have to go anywhere else to find it ever again.  It could not be contained in a person or a place or an experience or a moment.  It would remain right here, right now, in her very own soul, the place where she had been reborn, the place where she could rest and wait for the very next breath to take her into the happiness of now, her truest, kindest home.

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Sweet traveling mercies to you as you find your way to the happiness of now, the kindness of home.  This space this morning is for you to say whatever you’d like about what’s hard, what’s sweet, what’s easy, what’s deep about that amazing journey.  Your images from your soul travels are as always, most welcome. 

Comments

  10. All I can do is take a big breath in and exhales slowly in total awe. The photo and your words are just what I needed to hear today Jen. Thank you for sharing.

  15. Jen, This photo is amazing! Somehow your words combined with this image, took me right back to my Brazil, and right back to my soul too. So many courageous thoughts swirling around! I’m going to sit with them, and I’m going to use your lovely photo as a meditation tool, because that little girl really evokes a perspective in which several courageous little souls are smiling with bravery, while still going through a lot of real life challenges on the daily basis… They are my heroes… You are my hero… Thanks for sharing your wisdom and your beautiful photographs with us. xo

  18. i have been having dreams about my students lately. i wake up and wonder what they are doing at that very moment…and then i look at my son, who i chose to stay home with and take a leave from teaching. i know i made the right choice…but my heart misses them.
    they taught me so much about being a mama…about life…about courage.

    this post is so thoughtful and powerful. i have to wonder if it is a sign…

    this image is one of my favorite portraits i took of one of my third graders…i miss the endless hugs all day and the way they looked at me…such trust.

    it was hard to choose to stay home, for they are my children, too.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/kookooface/543306152/in/set-258063/

  19. I feel like I’m still wandering on my journey, and I’m still uncertain of where permanent home is, but the love (and hurt) I’ve experienced in my soul travels have been profound.

    This image represents the now for me:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/brokenwrists/2671774180/

    It’s a portion of chalk drawings that extended from the parking lot, up the sidewalk, and to the door of the boys’ summer camp last month. As I walked the path of drawings, the music from inside got closer and louder, and my heart was jumping with excitement knowing the sounds were being created in happiness by my sons.

    I spent most of June in happiness with my boys, never wasting an opportunity to tell them I loved them, squeezing with all my might in their spur of the moment hugs, always pausing when they needed me to listen. My family was complete again and my heart was full. I have a tub of sidewalk chalk on my porch and when I miss them, I scribble in the concrete. 🙂

  20. Jen Lemen, this is one of the MOST beautiful things you’ve ever written. I am printing this out and pasting it in my journal and I thank you from the deepest places of my heart.