Shutter Sisters

the right words

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I’ve never really been good at finding the right words when they matter most. I stumble and stammer and sometimes even say nothing at all for fear of saying the wrong thing.

 As dear family friend is experiencing the sorrow of loss I’ve wracked my brain, what to say? What can possibly be said to ease her burden? Someone commented, it isn’t time for words now. It is time to just let it be. I know that she’s right and that there are those instances in our lives when words can fail us. It is important for me to let her experience it for what it is. The only thing I can do is to be there for her; the unspoken support of a true friend. I know my words would only fall short.

 As I was walking out the door, tissue box in hand my daughter gently put this note in my hand. Please give this to her.

 Leave it to the purest, truest kindness and love of a child to find precisely the right words.

 It’s Love Thursday at Chookooloonks today. Share the love

Comments

  1. Wow, children always know the best things to say because they don’t struggle to find the "right thing to say". They speak without thinking, right from the heart. What a perfect thing to let your friend know. When the time is rightall they need to know is that you’re there, sometimes words aren’t necessary.

  2. I can relate, with not being able to find the right words when it matters most and not wanting to say the wrong thing. My husbands grandfather passed away two days ago and the funeral is Saturday. I’ve been struggling with what words to say to his mother and wife. Your post really hits home and couldn’t have come at a better time. We are fortunate to have children in our lives to remind us to listen and speak from our hearts.

  3. I am the same with not being able to find the right words at difficult moments. How wonderful that your daughter knew just what was right.

  11. <i>"Leave it to the purest, truest kindness and love of a child to find precisely the right words."</i>

    That’s so true. We adults rack our brains for just the right word, card, gesture or politically/socially acceptable thing. We wrap ourselves in worry that we’re not doing enough or saying enough.

    Kids are just kids. They think with their hearts and your daughter’s note is proof of that. Sending good thoughts and vibes your way for your friend.

  12. wow Bless her heart. Your daughter has it right. All your friend needs to know is that you are there for her. And that you care. Thats it! As a nurse who sometimes has to deal with parents grieving the loss of a child, I can assure you of that.

    She just needs you.
    And it will be alright…

  13. How wonderful your daughter was the answer to your search for word! What a sweet blessing in terrribly difficult times for your friends.
    I was really moved by reading this post and all the above comments- I am sure we all experienced a similar situation, I usual know when I am with my friends what I should or even if I should say something… somehow just being aware will bring an answer…
    I am truly amazed that your daughter was so aware – how trully truly wonderful

  16. yep, I struggle in those situations too. I think it’s best to be as quiet as possible.I don’t like to say too much. A hug goes further then words, or an I promise to be there if you need me for anything whispered in an ear….and yes this simple everything will be ok is perfect! That girl of yours! wow!

  18. i came to shutter sisters this morning as i always do, but these days it’s much earlier in the morning before i head off to work. it was the same post as yesterday, the new one not up yet. i started my day after a bad day yesterday trying to see with new eyes and still had yet another rough day. why bad days? why miscommunication? i dont’ know but it weighs on me.

    i come home and put in a movie for my son so i can check emails before bedtime and pop over to shutter sisters. and i see this photo. i don’t think i’ve sobbed in quite some time, and now i’m crying… because i believe in synchronicity, because i truly hope that everything will be fine.

    thank you. it makes no sense. but it all makes sense.
    xo

  20. children do know what to say, because they speak from the heart. we want to filter too much, I think. I do like the line about the "unspoken support of a true friend" – that is something I need to remember.