Each September begins the familiar routine. The slow and steady flow of school, homework and extra-circular activities that little by little as the months pass, begins to feel more like a river than a stream only to have the damn break in June to a force that can make it difficult for even the mightiest of moms to remain standing. That’s where I’m at right now; struggling against the current, getting swept up in the spin cycle that is the end of the school year machine.
Through the years I have come to expect this recurring ebb and flow so it’s not a huge surprise and on good days, I feel fairly on top of it. Even still this year, more than ever, I am reeling. As the school year comes to an end in a flurry of fun and excitement I recognize that it’s not only these last few weeks that are a blur, it’s my daughter’s childhood. Both of my daughters for that matter. The milestones this year feel larger than life as one will soon begin Middle School and the other Kindergarten. Sigh. I know what this is about. It’s the familiar melancholy of motherhood, the passing of time and the growing of the little parts and pieces of my children that remind me that they are getting older. That I am getting older. That they won’t be mine forever.
As I cheer them on and reassure them that the next chapter will be as rich and full as the last, I will also have to acknowledge (and quietly dismiss) that little whisper inside myself that is urging me not to let them go. The very voice that pleads in desperation with Father Time to show mercy on me and stop the clock if only long enough for me to hold on to my children a little longer.
Where are you these days? How do you see your life right now? Do you have certain photographs that express this exact moment in time for you?
